The Most Overrated Play Ever? That's "Logistics"

REALly, UPS? Your “logistics” campaign is one of the most inane in the history of advertising. No one gives a damn about “logistics,” even if inserted un-cleverly into an old Dean Martin song that probably no one remembers with the exception of those who recall the name of the secret agent he once played when he wasn’t singing “That’s Amore”or cavorting with the original rat pack.

Here’s a clue: Virtually no one knows what “logistics” are, not even with a woman’s basketball coach explaining it; and no one cares. They only care about their package getting where it’s going by the time it is supposed to get there.

What they don’t care about is having their intelligence insulted.

Like mindlessly portraying Christian Laettners’ last second shot against Kentucky as if it were the greatest play of all time. And you expect us to take you seriously by talking about the “logistics” of the pass?

It never was and still is not.

What it REALly is, instead, is the most overrated play of all time. Perhaps in any sport. And your attempt to logistify it, by glorifying the pass that set up the shot, is, to anyone paying attention, insulting.

Your commercial claims that it takes a special player to make the in bounds pass from behind the basket to Laettner, seventy feet away. And you show the pass with no players on the court other than Grant Hill (the passer) and Laettner.

Looks easy with no one else on the court, doesn’t it.

In fact, it was easy, because, for all practical purposes, NO ONE ELSE WAS ON THE FREAKIN’ COURT!

Rick Pitino is a Hall of Fame Coach. But his call on that play was the worst coaching decision in the history of sports. All sports. Not just college basketball. By comparison, Jean Van de Velde was a genius at the 72nd hole of the 1999 British Open.

"Okay, boys. here's the plan: We won’t put anyone in Grant Hill’s face. That would force him to change the angle or trajectory of his pass. Instead, we'll leave a clear, unimpeded path all the way to Laettner.

"I say unimpeded path to Laettner, because we will also not have anyone anywhere between the Hill and Laettner. We wouldn't want to make Laettner have to fight for the ball—or even adjust in the slightest manner to retrieve it."

Would anyone glorify a pass from a quarterback under no pressure to an uncovered receiver in the end zone 25 yards away? Would the NCAA and media heap twenty years of praise on the QB for making an easy throw and the receiver for not dropping the ball?

And Pitino made it that simple. “Once again, lads: Let’s not make Hill’s throw difficult. Let’s not make Laettner’s catch difficult. Let’s let Laettner grab the ball without any sort of challenge. Let’s let an 80% career free throw shooter turn and take what is essentially a free throw to determine the fate of our season."

If Kentucky fans are mad at Pitino, it should be for this incomprehensible decision, not for eventually winding up at Louisville.

If this is your idea of educating people about logistics, UPS, succeeding when there are no obstacles to overcome, give me Federal Express.

They get my shipping business from now on. Or at least while this commercial is alive and stinking.

--Mark

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