Another Driveway Press Conference

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. -Hunter S. Thompson

Just when you thought that April of 2003 was the strangest time in the history of Kansas Basketball offseasons, 2005 comes along and trumps it like the Ace of Spades.

An odd mish mash of reactions from former KU coaches named in the self-report of violations to the NCAA. Roy Williams understandably had a tough day as a result of the "mistake" that was made. The media has treated Roy badly in this matter, as the violations were minor and didn't result in any competitive advantage at all. A failure to report $0.14? And Kansas taxpayers have to fork over their hard earned dough to pay an Overland Park attorney hundreds of thousands of dollars so that he can find out that once a kid didn't reimburse the school 14 cents?

That's government math man!

More interesting to me is Marian Washington's reaction in this morning's paper. I hadn't heard anyone say anything about the women's violations except something to the tune of, "they were cheating and they weren't winning?" That would have been it, until Marian Washington exercised her First Amendment right to make things worse by opening her mouth.

"What is really disheartening to me," Washington said, "is this university has attacked someone who truly has been an ambassador for the university. (Woodard) is coming off her third Hall of Fame in three doggone years. To be treated like she is being treated ... somebody should be ashamed of themselves. Lynette is hurt by it; I am hurt by it."

And here comes the really crazy part:

"There's no way in the world I would ever violate any NCAA rules. If 50 cents turned up, I'd turn it back. If there was an extra sandwich, I'd not allow players to eat it. For this to come out the way it has, questioning my program, I can't allow it to happen."

Hence the upcoming news conference, in which Woodard and Washington will address allegations.

"I am in the process of looking at each violation," Washington said, who indicated the news conference might even be in her driveway or backyard.

STOP THE INSANITY MARIANI'm going to have to pull a "Susan Powter" here and scream "STOP THE INSANITY!" With all due respect, Coach Washington, you are bringing more attention to yourself, not less. The least of the violations, those which occurred under Roy Williams, have beckoned for national attention, while those which allegedly occurred under your watch, and are more severe, have been virtually invisible, obscured by the brilliant glare of Williamsian headlines.

Don't do it. Don't have a backyard barbeque press conference. It will only make you unhappier. Count on it. You could ask Hunter S. Thompson, but he's dead, and now Willy Flipping Wonka is going to belch his ashes over Thompson's Colorado estate with a cannon. Is that really what you want?

If you are wise, you will listen to me.

Which reminds me, anybody see the latest Wonkavision? I'm holding out for Imax.