Missouri man arrested after machete attack in downtown Lawrence

That's the actual headline of this LJW article. I'm going to think of it as a metaphor for Saturday's game:

Police spokesman Sgt. Dan Ward said the transient was sleeping under a blanket near 10th and Massachusetts streets about 11 p.m. Wednesday, when the 40-year-old suspect approached him and began hitting him with a machete.

Ward said the 42-year-old victim's blanket and multiple layers of clothing prevented him from suffering any injuries.