Bruce Weber and the Illini - is there anything they can't do?

Bruce Weber, Master of the UniverseMona Lisa

It's not just left-handed layups anymore. No, dear friends, having solved all other problems, the crack scientists at the University of Illinois, working in conjunction with the master motivator and scholar, Bruce Weber, have determined what emotions that the Mona Lisa is expressing with her "enigmatic smile."

IT'S official: Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa was 83 per cent happy, 9 per cent disgusted, 6 per cent fearful and 2 per cent angry.

His algorithm, developed with researchers at the Beckman Institute at the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign, examines key facial features such as the curvature of the lips and crinkles around the eyes, then scores each face with respect to six basic emotions

They should be in the top 5 for that. Seriously. Da Vinci could write backwards with his left hand you know. Coincidence?


In a related story, the above study was computed to be 18% hooey, 21% hogwash, 30% balderdash, 14% rubbish and 17% pure and unadulterated bull.