Take it to the Bank: A Modest Proposal (Week 5)

Imagine, if you will, that the U.S. Government had the foresight four weeks ago to invest 750 billion dollars each week on the Phogblog Handicapping Service’s “Take it to the Bank” picks: that’s 50B per game. At this moment, after 60 games--discarding the three games that have been pushes and the Texas/Arkansas game that was postponed due to Hurricane Ike—and taking into account the House’s 5% commission on each bet, the USA would have a 36-20 record and be up 660 billion dollars. That’s almost enough to bail out Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, Lehman, Merrill, and AIG, without risking the taxpayer’s hard earned dollars.

But nooooooooo. . .

Let’s risk the taxpayers’ money on risky ventures like investments banks, financial firms, and insurance companies.

Let’s see if either presidential candidate is insightful enough to propose this solution to the current financial crisis. Whoever does is truly thinking outside the traditional Washington/Wall Street box—a maverick, if you will—and is worthy of your vote.

Please, no comments that this theory is flawed, because Vegas would not be able to withstand almost seven hundred billion dollars in losses in four weeks. No worries. The government simply buys every casino in Vegas with the money it wins in the succeeding four weeks. And with the government running all the casinos, we might even be looking at middle class tax breaks. A win-win if ever there was one.

How unfortunate that these picks are for entertainment purposes only.

The Games of week 5:

1. TCU +17.5 at Oklahoma

I’m riding the Sooner Schooner until OU gives me a reason to do otherwise.


2. Colorado +5.5 at Florida St

The Seminoles have given me no reason to suspect that they are a good team. I took Wake Forest +4 last week, and the Deamon Deacons won convincingly in Tallahassee. Meanwhile, Colorado was taking down West Virginia in Boulder. This week, CU gets 5.5 points. Easy pick, right?

Right. FSU ridin’ the Redemption Train.


3. Troy +17 at Okie St

Troy lost on the Road last Saturday by 18 to Ohio St. This OSU is better.


4. La-Lafayette +21 at k-state

k-state has been exposed. They are probably good enough to win this game at Home. But by 3 TD’s? Not bloody likely.


5. Arkansas +27.5 at Texas

Texas is on a mission. Lesser teams beware. I took UT -24 two weeks ago, when this game was postponed. The extra 3 ½ points are not a deal breaker.

6. Army +28.5 at Texas A&M

It is not as if A&M is good. But, good grief, is Army ever bad. . .


7. Pitt -15 at Syracuse

There are two teams I like every week: Oklahoma and whoever is playing Syracuse.


8. UNC +7.5 at Miami

Slowly, but surely, UNC is improving. Miami is improving faster.


9. Ole Miss +23.5 at Florida

What part of Tim Tebow and The Swamp don’t you understand?


10. Minnesota +18 at Ohio St

Ohio St: the most overrated team in the nation three years running.


11. Alabama +7 at Georgia

The Crimson Tide would win this game outright at Home. They won’t go down easy between the hedges.


12. Wisconsin -6 at Michigan

Michigan will be good again in time. The key phrase being “in time.”


13. Fresno St -7 at UCLA

Fret not, UCLA fans. October 15 is just around the corner.


14. Illinois +14 at Penn St

Vegas still hasn’t caught on to Penn St—they are this year’s KU.


15. Idaho +11 at San Diego St

Did I say OU and whoever’s playing Syracuse? Make that Syracuse OR Idaho.